LAMENTS

THE NEW DISEASE CAME.

I LEARNED THAT TIME

DOES NOT HEAL.

EVERYTHING GETS

WORSE WITH DAYS.

I HAVE SPOTS

LIKE A DOG.

I COUGH AND CANNOT

TURN MY HEAD.

I CONSIDER SLEEPING

WITH PEOPLE

I DO NOT LIKE.

I NEED TO LIE

BACK TO FRONT

WITH SOMEONE

WHO ADORES ME.

I WILL THINK MORE

BEFORE I CANNOT.

I LOVE MY MIND WHEN

IT IS FUCKING THE

CRACKS OF EVENTS.

I WANT TO TELL YOU

WHAT I KNOW

IN CASE IT IS OF USE.

I WANT TO GO TO

THE FUTURE PLEASE.

	

IF THE PROCESS STARTS

I WILL

KILL THIS BABY

A GOOD WAY.

SHE CAN LIE

ON MY

FAMILIAR BELLY.

OUR BACKS WILL 

BE IN LINE

AND THEN

INDISTINGUISHABLE.

I WILL TAKE

HER DOWN BEFORE

SHE FEELS THE

FEAR THAT IS

CAUSE AND

RESULT.


WITH ONLY MY MIND

TO PROTECT ME

I GO INTO DAYS.

WHAT I FEAR IS

IN A BOX WITH FUR

TO MUFFLE IT.

EVERYDAY I DO NOTHING

BECAUSE I AM

SCARED BLANK AND LAZY,

BUT THEN THE MEN COME.

I PUT MY MOUTH ON THEM.

I SPIT AND WRITE

WITH THE WET.

THE WET SAYS WHAT

MUST STOP AND

WHAT SHALL BEGIN.

I SPIT BECAUSE THE DEATH

SMELL IS TOO CLOSE TO ME.

THE STINK MAKES WORDS

TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT

WHO KILLS AND

WHO IS THE VICTIM.

DEATH IS THE

MODERN ISSUE.	


NO RECORD OF JOY

CAN BE LIKE THE

JUICE THAT JUMPS

THROUGH YOUR SKULL

WHEN YOU ARE

PERFECT IN SEX.

YOU POSITION

YOUR SPINE UNTIL

IT WAVES.

YOUR HANDS RUN

TO SPOTS

THAT FEEL

DIFFERENT.

BREATHING TELLS

THE PERSON

WHAT TO DO.

YOU TRY TO STOP

BECAUSE THAT

IS THE FUN.

THEN YOU SQUEEZE

AND BECOME

UNCONSCIOUS NEAR

WHOMEVER WHICH IS

THE DANGEROUS

THING IN

THE WORLD.

ARE THE END

YOU DO NOT WANT.

YOU CARRY THIS

SENSATION TO THE

CRUEL PLACES YOU GO.	


THERE IS NO ONE'S 

SKIN UNDER

MY FINGERNAILS.

THERE IS NO ONE

TO WATCH

MY HAIR GROW.

NO ONE LOOKS AT

ME WHEN I WALK.

PEOPLE WANT ME

TO PAY MONEY FOR

EACH THING I GET..

I HAVE EVERY KIND 

OF THOUGHT AND THAT

IS NO EMBARRASSMENT.

I LOOK AT MYSELF

WHEN I BATHE.

WHAT I GIVE

TO ALL THE PEOPLE

WHO DO NOT WANT

TO LIVE WITH ME

IS ARITHMETIC.

I COUNT INFANTS AND

OREDICT THEIR DAYS.

I SUBTRACT PEOPLE

KILLED FOR ONE

REASON OR ANOTHER.

I GUESS THE NEW

REASONS AND PROJECT

THEIR EFFICACY.

I DECORATE MY

NUMBERS AND

CIRCULATE THEM.	


I HAVE A

HOT HOLE

THAT WAS

PUT IN ME.

I CAN LIVE

WITH IT.

PEOPLE MADE IT

AND USE IT

TO GET

TO ME.

I CAN HURT

IT TOO BUT

USUALLY I PUT

MY THINKING

THERE FOR

EXCITEMENT.

WHEN MY MIND

IS RIGHT I

CAN SAY WHAT

NO ONE WANTS

TO HEAR.

I BRAG ABOUT

MY INDIFFERENCE,

BUT THE LAST

KIND PART OF

ME RAVES

BECAUSE

I WILL NOT

BE THE ONLY

DEAD ONE.

I KEEP THE

HOLE OPEN.	


I WANT TO LIVE IN

A SILVER WRAPPER.

I WILL SEE

WHOOPING ROCKS FLY.

I WILL ICE ON MY BLACK SIDE

AND STEAM ON THE OTHER

WHEN I FLOAT BY SUNS.

I WANT TO LICK FOOD

FROM MY CEILING.

I AM AFRAID TO STAY

ON THE EARTH.

FATHER HAS CARRIED ME THIS

FAR ONLY TO HAVE ME BURB

AT THE EDGE OF SPACE.

FACTS STAY IN YOUR MIND

UNTIL THEY RUIN IT.

THE TRUTH IS PEOPLE ARE

PUSHED AROUND BY TWO MEN

WHO MOVE ALL 

THE BODIES ON EARTH INTO

PATTERNS THAT PLEASE THEM.

THE PATTERNS THAT SPELL

OH NO NO NO

BUT IT DOES NO GOOD

TO WRITE SYMBOLS.

YOU HAVE TO DO THE

RIGHT ACTS WITH YOUR BODY.

I SEE SPACE AND IT

LOOKS LIKE NOTHING AND

I WANT IT AROUND ME.	


I WAS

SICK FROM

ACTING NORMAL..

I WATCHED

REPLAYS OF

THE WAR.

WHEN NOTHING

HAPPENED I

CLOSED A ZONE

WHERE I

EXERT CONTROL.

I FORMED A

GOVERNMENT THAT

IS AS WELCOME

AS SEX.

I AM GOOD

TO PEOPLE

UNTIL THEY DO

SOMETHING STUPID.

I STOP THE

HABITUAL MISTAKES

THAT MAKE FATE.

I GIVE PEOPLE

TIME SO THEY

FEEL THEIR LIVES

MOVING OVER

THEIR SKINS.

I WANT A

LARGER ARENA.

I TEASE WITH

THE POSSIBILITY

OF MY

ABSENCE.	


THE KNIFE CUT

RUNS AS LONG

AS IT WANTS.

IT IS THROUGH

MY STOMACH.

I KEEP LOOKING

AT IT.

I HAVE MORE

COLORS THAN

I WOULD

HAVE THOUGHT.

THE WHOLE IS

LARGE ENOUGH

FOR MY HEAD.

THE HOLE WAS

BIG ENOUGH

FOR THEIR HANDS

TO MOVE FREELY.

THEY PUT THEIR

FINGERS IN

BECAUSE THEY

SHOULD NOT AND

BECAUSE THEY

DO NOT GET 

THE CHANCE 

EVERY DAY.	


DEATH CAME AND HE LOOKED

LIKE A RAT WITH CLAWS.

I MADE HIM GO

INTO THE WALL.

I KEEP HIM THERE WITH 

THE PRESSURE OF MY MIND.

I HEAR HIM SCRATCHING

AND CLIMBING.

MY THOUGHTS FLY TO THE

WALL TO SEAL THE CRACKS

AND ADD PLASTER

LAYERS FOR STRENGTH.

I KEEP MY BRAIN ON SO I

DO NOT FALL INTO NOTHING

IF HIS CLAW HURT ME.

I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE

MY HOUSE AND THE

PEOPLE I LIKE.

I DO NOT WANT TO STOP

KNOWING ALL MY FACTS.

I DO NOT WAHT MY BODY TO

TURN INTO SOMETHING ELSE..

WHEN A RAT MAKES YOU

UNCONSCIOUS YOU GO ON

A CONVEYOR BELT AND ARE

DUMPED FROM THE END.

YOU DROP IN SPACE AND

NEVER HIT BOTTOM EVEN

THOUGH YOU NEED TO

AS TIME PASSES.	


I CAN MAKE WOMEN'S

BREASTS WEEP. I DREAM

WORDS. MY IDEAS COME

FROM MY SKIN. I WAKE

IN TERROR FROM WHAT

IS IN ME BEFORE

EXPERIENCE. I CAN CONJURE

WHAT HAS NEVER BEEN

TO DAZZLE MYSELF.

I DO NOT WANT TO BE EATEN.

I MOVE IN AN ENVELOPE

OF ALL SMELLS. I HOOT

WHEN MY BRAIN FILLS.	

—Jenny Holzer

It is very interesting that nothing inside in them, that is when you consider the very long history of how every one ever acted or has felt, it is very interesting that nothing inside in them in all of them makes it connectedly different… The only thing that is different from one time to another is what is seen and what is seen depends upon how everybody is doing everything. This makes the thing we are looking at very different and this makes what those describe it make of it, it makes a composition…Nothing changes from generation to generation except the thing seen and that makes a composition.
Gertrude Stein, Composition as Explanation (1926).

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Hands actually aren’t full, just not a fan of using them. (sexpigeon)

"Most people aren’t trained to want to face the process of re-understanding a subject they already know. One must obtain not just literacy, but deep involvement and re-understanding."

Judith Butler, Benjamin and the Philosophy of History. (egs)

Judith Butler, philosopher and author, talking about Walter Benjamin’s Theses On The Philosophy of History. In this lecture, Judith Butler discusses historical materialism crossed with the messianic, crystallization as the imagistic form of the past, homogenous time, the loss of remembrance and the singularity of catastrophe in relationship to Franz Kafka, Theodor W. Adorno, Walter Benjamin, Jacques Derrida, Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel and Michel Foucault focusing on memory, progress, empty time, the relation of the past and present, happening versus action and dialectics.

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two peas in pod.

Stanzas, Sexes, Seductions

by Anne Carson

It’s good to be neuter.
I want to have meaningless legs.
There are things unbearable.
One can evade them a long time.
Then you die.

The ocean reminds me
of your green room.
There are things unbearable.
Scorn, princes, this little size
of dying.

My personal poetry is a failure.
I do not want to be a person.
I want to be unbearable.
Lover to lover, the greenness of love.
Cool, cooling.

Earth bears no such plant.
Who does not end up
a female impersonator?
Drink all the sex there is.
Still die.

I tempt you.
I blush.
There are things unbearable.
Legs, alas.
Legs die.

Rocking themselves down,
crazy slow,
some ballet term for it —-
fragment of foil, little
spin, little drunk, little do, little oh, alas.

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Jenny Holzer

If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all.
— John Cage

Ramona Cordova, Brother on BATV’s Golden Sounds Series (2010)

“Eat Miss Deborah daughter. Miss Deborah daughter eat Adhim. Melissa eat Adhim. Melissa cat eat Adhim. Melissa eat cat all gone taste good. Cat eat Adhim. Eat Miss Deborah daughter cat. Cat in Kalamazoo. Kalamazoo very far. Eat candy in Kalamazoo. Eat chips Kalamazoo. Eat Kalamazoo. Daughter head taste minty.”

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Aino Kannisto

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(MSL)